DEVILISH AGE ~
if I could go back and change the course of my path
I would still look to the sky and accept my wrath
I've learned so much from this life of hardship
ive grown wise from being homeless, broke down and heartless
I've grown to live with nothing, and be grateful for something
I've grown to live with something and come back up from nothing.
my hands steadily shake as my anxiety quakes, what will it take?
praying hard that 2015 won't be the end of my days. will I break?
will I suffice under pressure, as my mentality shakes, oh great.
under the surface I feel like a trapped coyote in a cage, I rage.
enraged by the fact that me, heroin and meth are primarily engaged
it always stays the same
I get nauseous when I think about the future ahead
will I make it to 21? or will I pass away instead?
and by pass away, I mean go back to my castle and cave
go back to the shackles and tackles of waves
go back to the hunger as the tracks are engraved
in my skin, wearing long sleeves every day
I pretend, I pretend that I know how to maintain
I'm a lost soul that can't connect with my psychotic brain waves
and when it comes to the wild lifestyle I fucking aim straight
I aim straight for the thugs, criminals and fakes
people who act like my friend but only show motives to take
I'm turning 20 this month, can I handle 20 years more?
I can't live like I have or I can't live anymore
I won't make it in this world and I will fail the tests of life
in a daily battle filled with contradictions and strife
all I want is a couple kids and a trustworthy wife
I feel unworthy of the lord and his trustworthy might
the rehab shuffle has already gotten monotonous and old.
instead of adding motivation its making me miserable and cold
miserable and cold, not self righteous and bold
the confidence of Ethan Merritt Range is untold.
as I unfold, I emerge, a savage and beast
blaming victim for every fucking thing that's happened to me
I write my past present and future passionately.
as soon as my addiction takes hold then I'm back in the streets
packin the heat constantly trapped in this leash
the devils naggin at me, he's dressed in black and a freak
can't handle all the questions that he's askin of me
I picked up the rig not knowing I attracted a leech
I attracted a leech, that's like a bloody rash and it seeps
one that will never let go, no love or xo's
a demon that promised me everything and as the promises grow,
I took that bag of powder and took another one right up my nose
a thousands never enough, that's what the devil has shown
I'm in a devilish age, im in a devilish zone
I can't pick up the phone, I already got voices that won't leave me alone
it's like I'm a dog thats been constantly thrown a bone
I take a few different substances right to the dome
I can't help but go fetch it.
it's either quit or accept it
under pressure by God... is he still apologetic?
it seems like such a good idea but in the end i always regret it
my brain tells me ease up, my body wants anesthetics
my heart just wants love, am I able to get it?
actually, am I able to keep it?
because I don't love myself. in fact, I've never loved Ethan
all my life I've been told that I'm good hearted and decent
people that love me have given me reason after reason
in the tail of two people I've been unable to complete it
unable to reach it
and as the chances decreases
im left unable to complete the tasks at hand,
I'm just a basket case in a devilish age in a plastic land..
-Ethan Merritt Range
08/02/2015
^ August 2nd 2015
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